Is it a crush or the real thing? (Amanda, 14)
This is a toughie! Both a crush and the ‘real thing’ (love) can have really similar intense emotions. First thing is to think about how well you know someone – because love grows when you get to know someone, while a crush can develop with someone we’ve never even spoken to, but we just really fancy! Real love is more than just the emotion, it’s about being willing to put each other first and want the best for each other, even if its means putting ourselves out for them (Jesus gave us lots of examples of real love, like washing his friends feet and ultimately dying on the cross for us.
If this is someone you don’t know well, it’s probably a crush, and our top tip would be not to let it ‘crush’ you (he he), but enjoy it! It’s an opportunity to discover more about yourself and your feelings, and is a very normal part of life. If you think this could be the ‘real thing’, top tip is to practise putting the person you love first and wanting their best… and ask God to guide you forward (God’s always interested in our love lives!).
I'm 12 and I hate the way I look, why did God make me so ugly? (Rose, 12)
The truth is that God did not make you ugly. Too often we compare ourselves to celebrities or models, or even to our best friends, thinking that’s we’re supposed to look like, but there is no right or wrong way to look! If you’re feeling bad about yourself because of how people have treated you, or things people have said about you, try talking to someone you trust about it – it’s not good for us to keep things that have hurt us inside.
The most important thing is to hear how God thinks of you, because he knows you better than any other, and knows that you are perfect just as you are. Take a moment in prayer to ask God to show you how he sees you, and then see more tips on being happy with yourself.
How do I handle school bullies? (John, 11)
Step 1: know that you are a magnificent person. Whoever is bullying you doesn’t know the real you, and the truth is that you are wonderful, talented and have lots to offer the world.
Step 2: don’t take whatever they’re doing or saying personally. Bullies tend to pick on people because they feel bad about themselves, and it makes them feel better, so the problem is with them not you.
Step 3: please get help. Being bullied can cripple us on the inside, and can leave us insecure and lonely. This isn’t fair on you, and you don’t have to sort this out on your own. Choose an adult who you can most trust to tell them how you’re feeling, and together with them you can work out how to put a stop to the situation.
If there’s no-one you feel you can talk to, you can call childline on 0800 1111.
For more: read our article on bullying.
I feel I should do more to please Jesus - help! (Kevin, 13)
Ah… well you really don’t need to :-) Central to believing in Jesus is our belief in ‘grace’. Grace is when someone does something for us that we don’t deserve, like when someone loves us, even when we’re being a pain in the bum! When Jesus died on the cross for us, this was THE act of grace to beat all others, because he died for us even though we still sinners and still made mistakes. This shows us that whatever we do Jesus doesn’t stop loving us, even if other people around us seem only to appreciate us when we do things right. So you don’t need to try to please him, because he always loves you, and is always proud to call you his friend.
Top tip: tell Jesus how you’re feeling about this, and ask Him to send His Holy Spirit to help you be peaceful about it.
For more, find out what the cross means for you.
How do I ask for God's help? (Laura, 9)
Talking to God can be like talking to your best friend, you can be completely free to say whatever you want, and to tell him what you need. God is always waiting for us to ask his help, and he loves to answer our prayers.
Find out more in Sacred Space
My Dad hits me what should I do? (Jayne, 12)
This is not right, and shouldn’t be happening. You might think it’s your fault, but it’s not, no-one has the right to hurt you. You’re not on your own, because there are people who care about you and would be ready to help you. Try talking to an adult you can trust. If you’re not sure who you can talk to, have a look at the childline website, or call childline on 0800 1111.
My Mum's sick, very sick and I can't be strong (Steve, 11)
When things are difficult, the emotions of sadness and fear can be too much to handle on our own.
The fact is that when we face difficult situations, we’re going to hurt inside. It’s the same for everyone, no matter how old they are hurt, and there’s nothing wrong it. The difficult feelings that come up are much better out than in, so the best thing to do is to try talking to someone, maybe a friend, and if possible another adult.
When you’re ready, you could even try talking to your Mum about your feelings. You may feel like it’s your job to be the strong one and to look after her, but it’s not. Your mum is still your mum, and will want to look after you.
Remember also that God is always with you, and is always ready to listen so you can talk to him whenever you want. In the Bible it says he is close to the broken hearted, and that whenever we pray he will give us his peace.
If you want to, you could send a prayer to our prayer wall, so that others can pray with you for your Mum.
Who sits at the left hand of the Father? (Hannah, 13)
In the Bible it says that Jesus sits at the right hand of God the Father in heaven… so it’s a good question: who’s on the left?! We can probably take it as more of a symbolic image that Jesus is on the right. To be on the right means to share power and authority, and to be close to someone (think of the phrase ‘right hand man’), so maybe what Jesus was trying to explain to people was that
He was really close to the Father, and shared the Father’s authority and power. God the Father probably doesn’t have a body as we imagine bodies… so he may not even have a left or right! But if he did, it would make sense that it would be God the Holy Spirit on his right hand side, also sharing power and being close to the Father and Jesus. Read more about God
Does God love the meanest meanest people ever living? (Heather, 10)
God loves each and every one of us, and nothing we can do can stop God loving us because GOD IS LOVE! Our mean actions (sins) can separate us from God so that we don’t particularly feel or believe His love for us, but that can’t stop Him loving us.
Find out what sin is and how it affects us and God.
Have you prepared a place for me? (Catherine, 10)
When Jesus had risen again and was going back to heaven to be with his Father, he said he would prepare a place for us in his Father’s house. The promise is for all of us, so we can trust in Jesus, that when the time comes, we will also go to be with him and our Father in heaven.
How can we relate further to God? (James, 12)
God is always with us and we can relate to him like a close friend or a family member. The best thing to do is to get to know him better. Check our pages on God, or spend some time with him in Sacred Space
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